Change Your Thoughts, Feelings and Beliefs – Change the Outcome

How do you change how you are feeling?

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When you want things to change in your life, whether personally or professionally, you are, in essence, sending a request to the Universe asking for assistance. When you are seeking assistance, you are seeking information. Information comes in many forms, depending on your openness.

The doing of tuning into your feelings (emotions) can be broken down into three steps:

Step One:

Thoughts: Being aware of how you feel and what thoughts are causing those feelings.

Step Two:

Feelings (Emotions): On a regular and consistent basis, getting so good at noticing how you are feeling that you are inspired to do something, such as think more positively, which results in feeling more hopeful. Thoughts + feelings (emotions) = beliefs. As you regain control of your thoughts and feelings, you take control of your beliefs. Your beliefs are what are playing out daily.

Step Three: 

Beliefs: Your beliefs are the result of the amount of focus and energy of your thoughts plus the feelings associated with those thoughts. Thoughts + feelings (emotions) = beliefs.

What is a belief?

Webster defines a belief as "an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists." I like Esther Hicks' definition, "A belief is a thought you think about and think about until you believe it." Read that last sentence one more time. That definition of belief is what has been influencing my life.

Where do our beliefs come from?

Our beliefs come from observations, what others tell us, what we hear and feel, among other things, and most importantly, what we tell ourselves. Our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs are essential to what is playing out in our lives today and are crucial to our future.

Real Examples

As I got better at tuning into my feelings (emotions) whenever I noticed a change in my feelings, I more quickly identified the cause of the feeling, which was what I was thinking at the time. One day on my way to the office, I had a 35-minute drive, I was consciously thinking about the roadway, the weather and the traffic. Then, what seemed to be sudden, I felt a tightness in my stomach. Since I was getting better at noticing any change in my feelings, I wondered what caused that kind of anxious feeling . What was I unconsciously thinking in the back of my mind? The thought that jumped out was the fact I had to have a candid conversation with one of my employees about her workplace behavior. This was the cause of that uneasy feeling in my gut.

Wanting Change

I wanted that feeling to change, so I dug into my thoughts. What brought about the uneasiness was worrying about how that conversation would go. I worried about upsetting the employee with what I needed to say. I was concerned that the employee would be upset and maybe get mad. I could feel the tenseness of the conversation and even pictured the employee being upset and unhappy.

The Script

Wow! In my mind, I was writing the script of what I didn't want to happen, all the things that made me anxious. What to do? Change the script. I didn't want all those things to happen, so what did I want to happen? I wanted to have a respectful, candid, two-way dialogue about the behavior I had witnessed and to listen to the employee's side. I changed my thoughts about how I wanted it to unfold. I thought about the outcome I wanted: to bring awareness to the employee and have her realize she needed to develop a different, more positive behavior.

As I rewrote the script (my thoughts), I could feel the pit in my stomach slowly release. I felt more positive as I focused on how I wanted the conversation to go. I took those unwanted thoughts and changed them into wanted thoughts, which changed how I felt and what I believed the outcome could be. It didn't have to be confrontational; it could be productive with no one dying on their sword. This was all done as I was driving to the office. Once I arrived, I actually jotted down my thoughts so I could deliver the words I felt would be most effective with this employee. I rehearsed this out loud, alone in my office, of course, until my thoughts, feelings, and beliefs shifted to a more positive outcome.

To Wrap Things Up

You may think this was a lot of time spent on my thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. However, it was important to me how the conversation went, and the mental effect my words and accompanying emotions would have on the employee. Taking that time was important.

For Your Consideration: If you have a situation or a conversation you are feeling anxious about or are worrying about to some degree, dissect your current thoughts, feelings, and beliefs and determine a different, more positive outcome. Try writing that script (your thoughts) on paper or the computer, practice it aloud (your feelings and emotions will surface), and visualize the positive outcome you desire. Repeat this process until it feels right to you for the particular situation or conversation. Once you actually have that conversation, reflect on the outcome and make any mental or physical notes that will help you in the future. Remember, your thoughts + your feelings (emotions) = your beliefs.

Photo by Klemen Vrankar on Unsplash